Betsy

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Friday, September 24, 2010

A Personal Day

Tennessee C was in town. I took a personal day from working with loads of children to spend the day with loads of children. That makes sense, right?

We started our morning with a little Starbucks from iBob and a neighborhood bike ride. I was sporting my UTES pants, purchased during a family vacation in Utah when I was about 13 years old. I promise I'm not a hoarder, and I am able to throw things away, just not these particular pants. I totally revamped them 2010 style, and cut off the gathered elastic that once encased my ankles. They look amazing. Especially on a tricycle.
The day got even better when we saw my dear pal Lisa from high school at lunch. She came into the tea room where we were dining, and I starting jumping with excitement. I LOVE LISA. She was a year older than me, and I always thought she was the coolest. She is now the proud mother of 3 and looks better than ever. We were wearing stripes, so of course I needed to take a picture. I love her so much that I was even willing to post this God awful moon pie faced picture of myself. Manly much, Betsy?

Then we were off to The Children's Museum. C and I spend some time in the grocery store. Somehow this was way more fun than my usual trips to Kroger. I think it's because I didn't have to spend my money. Of course the food isn't real, so that's kind of a problem.
Car racing. The museum lady actually had to help me with this one.
C driving me in a tractor. As I was watching Caroline, a very lovely lady came up and said, "hello, I work for an agricultural magazine and I'd love to take a candid of your daughter for that. May I have your permission?"
Thoughts in Aunt Bee's head, in no particular order:
She's not my daughter. Geez, I'm 31. I can't have a kid this age.
Dear lord, this woman probably went to Purdue. My skin is crawling.
There are lots of creepos out there. I would never allow someone including myself to publish pictures of my precious niece in magazines, blogs, or Facebook!
Enough with the sarcasm, I said no.
As we departed, C and I walked ahead. I should have known Jane was lurking behind us, paparazzi style, wielding her Canon. I felt so violated.
This is what it must feel like to be Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise. The whole experience was exhausting, really.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A Fun Party

Leave it to my little friend Steph to host a sassy party. She has claimed that she has wanted to host a "Jorts Spontaneous" since college. At her dream party, everyone wears denim shorts. Now we have all seen celebrities like Hillary Duff and Jessica Alba looking quite cute in some frayed denim shorts. In fact, lots of Steph's guests were wearing looks of that variety.


Steph was not one of them. She rocked a high waisted button fly-

Her giantess friend wore similar high waisted denim shorts with a white pleather belt and a T shirt from Bonnaroo.
Robeghan was there in full force along with my husband who was wearing shorts of the carpenter variety.


Muuka sported Wranglers.
Brother Rob, sans Meghan. He goes all out when it comes to a themed party. Here he is in an Ocean Pacific T-shirt, cut off denim and Starter high tops.

As if all of this could get any better, he danced. A lot. In front of a lot of people. Fortunately moi, as the helpful older sister, joined in. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Childhood Secret

Did you know that I was a model? When you think of models in the 80's, certain names come to mind:

Cheryl
Christie
Elle




Now I've got a new name to add to that list of mega names in the modeling industry.
Betsy
Back in 1984, this 5 year old looker sold the s*** out of some faux fur quilted coats in small town Indiana.


As I mentioned before in a previous post, we had a locally owned department store in my hometown. Meis was the place to shop, and they sent out seasonal catalogs to advertise their wares. When the seasons changed, I knew my agent, who also moonlighted as my mother, would start negotiations for my print ads.
She also pimped out my brother and sister too. Throughout the early to late 80's, all three of us were regulars.
Elizabeth, now Kashmir's bed buddy, got an early start too in the industry. Here we are using our charms to sell corduroy jumpers. I truly can't believe there is photographic evidence of me wearing tights here. Mother must have spiked my juice with Benadryl, because there's no way I donned those without chemical assistance.
This year there was a significant increase in kindergartners wearing knit dresses due to my influence. I mean, really, who wouldn't want to imitate that glamorous girl with that horrendous haircut? Or is that a boy in a dress?

I believe there was a supermodel who famously said, "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000." Well, people, I couldn't be coaxed from a nap for less than $25 a shot.

I do distinctly remember that was the going rate. I could leave a shoot knowing that a check for $75 was coming in the mail. That money was usually spent before I even received it though. I found that it took regular 8-balls of coke to keep my figure camera-worthy. Okay, that last sentence was totally from Drew Barrymore's childhood, not my own-
I leave you with a few parting shots. I'm a little dismayed that Meis sold real fur. I was already a card carrying member of PETA by preschool, so I said no to that one.
Lastly, did anyone not have one of these coats?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

It's as easy as riding a bike!

My husband bought me a bicycle today!!! He loves to go on bike rides, and I haven't been on a bicycle since brother Rob and I took Mackinaw Island by storm on a tandem back in the mid 90's. He kept asking if I wanted a bike, but I had to be honest and admit that I had a little bike anxiety. It's not that I'm so afraid of riding a bike, but I'm afraid of cars. He assured me that we would kept it to neighborhoods and paved paths in parks. I needed a "leisure bike" if you will.

I still wasn't convinced, but we headed to the bike store and got to shopping. I made a beeline for an aqua blue and chrome Electra bike that matched my sweater. Trinity told me that he wasn't planning on spending $800 on retro bike that needed to be color coordinated with my outfit. The salesman guided us to a Specialize bike and had me climb on that one. This one was black, with a leather seat. I had to be "fitted" to the bike. Big surprise on this one, Betsy had to get a men's bike. Apparently, the women's version came in only small or medium, and I didn't fit into either of those categories according to him. Damn! The good news was that Trinity can also ride my bike without shame.

Prior to making the purchase I had to take it for a spin. Fortunately the bike shop had a little path inside that was very similar to the type of terrain I will be attempting to navigate. I hopped on and headed for the closest display of water bottles and padded underwear. Again, I hadn't been on a bike in like 15 years. Trinity filmed me trying out the bike, after I had taken a few practice laps. Check out the video below. I can't get it to rotate, so turn your computer sideways. Disclaimer: I had just discovered that the bike had a bell. Make sure your volume is on.

We then purchased the bike and a handy helmet. We got T's bike out of storage and headed home to prep for jaunt around the hood.

That's Black Beauty on the left.
This is what a woman who doesn't fit on a woman's bike looks like.
With my noggin protected, I think I cleared about 6'1". I immediately retrieved correct footwear and my helmet. I had read in my bike owner's manual that these were essential to safe rides.
Here's the pro. He is just posing with my bike, but he couldn't be bothered with a helmet or proper shoes. He's kind of a bad ass, or possibly a dumb ass. The manual would have totally disapproved.

The below video was filmed after I removed my training wheels. I was feeling pretty sassy until that little girl came rolling down her driveway, totally trying to outdo me. Step off, little girl, I got this.

Thanks, T for the bike. I love it!

Jane's Birthday

We celebrated mother's birthday on Saturday by having dinner at The Adobo Grill.
Her actual birthday was Friday. I called her to wish her a happy day, and this conversation followed.
B: Happy birthday, mom. How does 62 feel?
J: I don't know because I'm 61.
B: No, you're not. You're 62.
J: Elizabeth Anne, I'm pretty sure I'm 61. Wait a minute...aren't I?
B: You're 62. You were born in 1948.
J: No, your father was born in 1948, I was born in 1949. I'm 61. (With much more conviction in her voice) I'm 61!!!
B: Oh, okay. That's right, you were 30 when you had me, or 31. That makes sense because I'm 31, or wait...I'm not 32, am I?"
We've decided that after 30 no one knows how old they are anymore.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Joining the Starbucks "In" Crowd

So I was reading my dear pal, Sherry's blog at:


and she was announcing her excitement over the Pumpkin Spice latte. My other pal, Jodi @

also loves her some pumpkin spice lattes. I have never felt the love. People go gaga over these things, but I don't like them. I don't like coffee.

Today I went to order my usual no water, soy chai tea latte, and I was bemoaning the fact that I was the only nerd who didn't like the pumpkin spice lattes. My friendly neighborhood barista, and by "neighborhood" I mean huge corporate mega mogul barista, suggested I try a pumpkin spice chai tea latte.


HALLELUJAH! CAN I GET A WITNESS?

Fabulous. Beyond fabulous. I loved it, but my complaining wasn't over. I said the flavor was a tad rich and I feared I would have trouble finishing even a tall (12oz) Again, this lady saved the day by offering a short, (8oz) which isn't even listed as an option. She called it Starbucks' best kept secret, since they don't advertise that size. It's like a baby cup, but perfect for me!


A Keen Sniffer

I am fascinated by the way things smell. I think it is amazing how certain scents can send a wave of memories of experiences or people rushing through my head. Specific scents represent parts of my life, and when I smell them I can instantly go back to that time. It reminds me of that scene with Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap. She climbs onto her grandfather's lap and inhales deeply against his chest. She loves that he smells like peppermint and tobacco.

Speaking of grandparents, my father's parents died when I was very young. They were both gone by the time I was 9 years old. Much of what I remember of them is from pictures, but there is one scent that takes me back to their little kitchen in Anderson, Indiana. It's the smell of Ginger Ale. To most people this is not a distinct scent, but to me the combination of it along with the taste evokes my youngest childhood memories. I never buy it, but I ALWAYS order it on airplanes. It makes me feel as though Grandma and Grandpa are on flights with me as my dearest travel companions.
I don't remember my Nanny having a specific perfume. However, the woman reapplied her lipstick obsessively. She had a signature color, Clinique's Cerise. She whipped out that familiar silver tube and it had a waxy smell. She also applied it in such a way that instead of having a slant to it, the top was concave in shape. I don't even think Clinique makes that shade anymore, but I still have one tube left that was hers. I don't even roll it up, since I'm afraid it will be too dry and break off. I just take the top off and inhale.
When I was shipped off to Gnaw Bone Summer Camp as a 9 year old, my mother bought me Finesse shampoo for my shower bucket. Our cabins had a single light bulb and no A/C. Our shower was a 3 sided stone wall enclosed outdoor shower, with about 4 shower heads. We showered in a group with our swimsuits on. I used Finesse shampoo for the 3 consecutive years that I attended Gnaw Bone for 2 weeks at a time. The smell of the shampoo instantly has me singing my favorite campfire songs, and
craving Reece's Cups, which were my campfire snack of choice. Actually, I am always craving those, no Finesse needed.
For the greater part of my childhood, my Dad wore Calvin Klein's Obsession. The smell of this makes me think of him with his very large 80s glasses, coaching my basketball teams at the YMCA.
There was a store in our local mall called Meis, Limited. It was a smaller version of our locally owned department store, Meis. I remember the dressing room doors were a burgundy color, and they sold mostly Ralph Lauren attire. This place was my mother's favorite spot to shop, when she did, which was rare. They had bottles of this on the counter by the register.
By high school, I was ready for my own fragrance. Prescriptives Calyx was just the ticket. I remember buying my first bottle with Court when were were at the College Mall in Bloomington. Our local mall didn't have a Prescriptives makeup counter. This scent makes me think of getting ready each morning for school, pulling on my dad's giant flannel shirts and my heavy ass Doc Marten boots. When I smell it, I laugh and hear the song, "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana. It was great being a teenager in the 90s.
White Musk by The Body Shop was worn by one of the other school's teachers on my group trip to Europe in 1996. Senora McGuire took a group of her Spanish students to England, Spain and France that summer, and mom and dad sent me on an adventure of a lifetime. We traveled with another group of high school students from North Carolina, and this perfume is so distinctive that I had to find out what it was when I smelled it on their teacher. I asked her while we were watching a Flamenco dancer performance. Again, I have never worn this, but sometimes pop into The Body Shop for a quick whiff of that great trip.
Now in college I got hooked on Baby Doll by Yves Saint Laurent. I wore this during my Delta Gamma days, and I got so many compliments wearing this. My sorority sisters loved it, and I do remember sharing many squirts. Fraternity parties, senior dinners, and field experiences to local elementary schools are my memories with this one.
Era. A simple one. Delta Gamma basement laundry room at 105 North Jordan Avenue, Bloomington, Indiana. I still use this. This detergent has the most wonderful, freshest scent. Why not think of 3 of the happiest years of my life every day?
Gucci Envy, also known as liquid courage, without making me an alcoholic. I wore this every day for my first year of teaching in Durham, North Carolina. The year that almost killed me, when kids called me names and I taught 23 of the most ill behaved first graders in the history of the world. This scent does not actually evoke good memories, but more like memories of survival. As I spritzed it on each morning, my hands would be shaking with fear. I made it though, and have had 9 years of teaching bliss after that one that almost made me quit the profession forever.
Lastly, my latest fragrance. Trinity bought me this for Christmas last year. It makes me think of him. I wore it on my wedding day. I was wearing it when we got engaged. Happy, happy, happy.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My husband works at Target


Not really. However, this morning he could have totally passed for a Target employee. He always wears a polo shirt, khakis, and steel toed shoes to work. As a health and safety engineer, he must practice what he preaches and wear protective footwear. This morning I walked into the living room and witnessed this look. I have never before seen the man in a red polo shirt.
Of course I could not miss the opportunity to say, "Welcome to Target, my name is Trinity. May I help you?" He was not amused. I did not mean this to be insulting. I would love for him to be a part timer at The Target. I'm convinced there is a magnetic field that surrounds the store that prevents my credit card from being swiped for less than $50. I could use the discount.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

An Evening of Bowling

This handsome fella took me on a hot date.
We headed downtown to do a little duckpin bowling. This is just like bowling but with a much smaller ball and heavier pins. The rest seems just like regular bowling to me.
Here I am showing off my size 10 Sasquatch feet.
The little balls also left our hands quite filthy. I think I took Trinity by surprise with my bowling prowess. I'm kinda good with a bowling ball. I never bowled a lot growing up, but I think my mad skills are genetic.

Let me introduce you to my grandparents, Nanny and Papaw. They were great bowlers. In fact, they met in a bowling alley. As my Nanny tells the tale, they locked eyes from several lanes away, and the rest is history.
Now one thing I'll say about my Tibs, aka Nanny, was that she was a competitor. It didn't matter what you were doing, the lady didn't lose. She was intense. Bowling was no exception.
As I walked around the bowling alley, I thought about Tibs and how she would have loved the evening that Trinity and I shared. Then I ran smack dab into this framed picture, and I immediately recognized this face. Is this tough cookie my beloved Nanny? No. Does she look a lot like my Nanny? Yes. So let's just pretend.

I managed to record my approach. Tibs would have been proud. I have also included Trinity's. He threw a lot of gutterballs. She would not have been proud of this, but I'm sure she would have loved him anyway-

I'm Green with Envy over all of this Pink!

We are having lovely weather here on this Labor Day weekend. It's not too hot and it's very sunny right now. I am therefore sad to report that I'm a bit jealous. I've received various text messages and Facebook pictures of my dear friend, Courtney. She is in Hawaii. She is a world traveler and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. She's like # 20 head Mo'Fo' Delta Platinum Club member, or something like that. If Delta overbooks a flight and Court gets bumped, she doesn't receive a travel toothbrush and some toothpaste. Most likely she gets a room at the Four Seasons. When I miss a call from her during the day I usually call her back and tell her something ridiculous like, "I was helping a kindergartner with a loose tooth get to the nurse's office." Court's excuses for missed calls are more along the lines of "Sorry I missed your call. I was in Oslo on Tuesday." You get the point.
She and her man friend Nick are in Hawaii this week for his friend's wedding. Amazing, right? The thing is, no matter how busy BFF is, she always remembers me. In this instance she is remembering my love of pink, as she wears pink in Hawaii.
As she stays here, the fabulous pink Royal Hawaiian.
And swims in this pool.
And sleeps in this bed. She thinks of The Bets.
Oh, and the woeful Bets thinks of you, Court. Especially as I dust my house, with this duster you bought me several Christmases ago. I dust with a Hawaiian girl.
Now bring me something pink and fabulous.