Happy Birthday to Sweet Caroline!

My niece Caroline is 3 years old today. She is one sassy girl, but she is also very sweet! Happy Birthday, Miss Caroline!

This was taken the first time Li'l C and I met, which I believe was also our first disagreement:)

We are a little too much alike, you see.

Even though we both want things our way, we somehow get along!

The Adventures of one K. Who Witty

I love owls. I think they are just the coolest animals. For Christmas this year, my mother bought me a stuffed owl from Anthropologie. She said she had to purchase him because he was so cute and whimsical. She also shared that when she was a young lass, a Wiley High School Red Streak if you will, she too had a stuffed owl. She named that owl K. Who Witty. A clever name, I think. I decided to name my new owl K. Who Witty as well. I will refer to him as K. Who for short.

K. Who was very well behaved in the car on the way to T's house. He wore his seatbelt and didn't make a peep.

When we arrived at the house, I decided to snap a picture of my new owl ring, a gift from my BFF Court. It is beautiful and sparkly and fun. K. Who got very jealous. He starting flapping his wings, hooting, and then he flew up among Sweet T's bourbon collection. He was completely out of reach, and I began to worry.

He stared down with a furrowed brow, then took off for the living room.

K. Witty is very clever, and tried to blend in with T's artwork above the fireplace. This almost worked, but I too am clever. He then flew back to the kitchen. Sweet T was amazed by this encounter.

I finally caught K. Who in the kitchen, but had left my owl handling glove in the car. I had to improvise and use an oven mitt. It worked like a charm as I cooed and calmed him down.

He finally settled in to relax with his co-master on the couch. Crisis averted.

If you didn't think I was weird before, you know the full extent of my quirkiness now. I have been giggling this entire time, as K. Who sits on my lap. We are both so clever, you know.

A flashback to Honey Creek Square Mall, circa 1986

Sweet T and I went to the local mall with his parents to see "Avatar." I chuckled when I got to the mall and had some flashbacks to Honey Creek Square Mall, where I shopped when I was a child in the 80's. This place was like stepping back in time.

There was actually a "snack bar." I thought about getting some cotton candy, but decided against it.

The Showplace was even better. It looked like an after school special could be filmed there at any minute, undoubtedly starring Alyssa Milano and Corey Haim.

The ticket window was CASH ONLY. The matinee tickets were also $4!

The theatre walls were decorated with painted murals. Sweet T posed by Superman.

I loved the Disney wall. I laughed as we walked to our movie, thinking about slouchy socks and Cabbage Patch dolls. This experience was fabulous.

A Kentucky Christmas

The day after Christmas, I headed down to Kentucky to visit Sweet T, his parents, and his aunt. We had afternoon tea, and then headed back to their house for cocktails and presents.

As I sipped my cosmo, I opened my lovely new purse from Sweet T. I feigned surprise at its beauty, but I myself was instrumental in procuring it. I saw it at Nordstrom a few weeks ago, and quickly connected Sweet T to the salesgirl. Cha-ching, new purse for me!

Merry Christmas, Aunt Shirley. I give to you... a picture of me!

Pat and Eddie were not left out. They also received pictures of me as a gift. All of the pictures featured their son as well.

New Ray-bans from Jane and Bob. My parents are excellent gift-givers!

As I slurp my drink, I spy with my little eye a liquor stopper. How appropriate!

Aunt Shirley gave me this beautiful scarf. Stylish, but also functional to hide my giraffe neck.

At this point I'm feeling the love, the booze, and my new Lola perfume.

We thought it would be fun to model our newest gifts!

Introducing...Ginger!

My dear friends, Mark and Marinda, had a special delivery from Santa last night. Santa Claus brought a new puppy to their children, Walker and Camille!

Of course, they had to bring Ginger over to meet me!

Walker, a first grader, is sure to be a very responsible pet owner. He has wanted a dog for a very long time, and has waited patiently. Santa finally decided that 2009 is the Year of the Dog!

Walker is also a great photographer.

Camille and Ginger have matching curls. We had such a fun visit.

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU OWN A BMW YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE OFFENDED.

I have decided that people who own BMW vehicles are either incredibly wealthy, or just idiots. I fit into the latter category. I am not writing this to appear pretentious. I am a school teacher who is not wealthy. I just thought I was one afternoon back in November of 2006.

The story of my ownership of Fraulein is an interesting one. I always leased cars, including my Nissan Sentra during my first years of teaching and a Volkswagen Passat that I later convinced my brother to buy. It is a bit of a lemon and he never misses the opportunity to curse me over that one. I decided to buy a car back in 2006. I proclaimed to my BFF Courtney that I "don't care what I drive. Its just a car." So, how exactly did I walk out of the dealership with a used BMW? Maybe it was because it was in pristine condition. Maybe it was that I liked how I looked in it when I cruised past that shiny semi-truck as I test drove it. Or maybe, just maybe, I was sweet talked by my former high school crush who now is a big muckity-muck at a dealership in my hometown. Maybe I just stared at him as he told me what a great car it was, and imagined that it was 1996 and "we" were going for a ride in that car. Regardless of the reason, I purchased that overpriced German tank.

Our first year was the honeymoon phase. Fraulein ran like a champ. We laughed, we had good times together. She was like my sister on wheels. Then her wheels literally started to come off. I had to replace those tires. $500. Fortunately, Nicole, my BFF from college, is heir to a tire company dynasty. I got some good tires for a good deal. I learned that the BMW dealership is a vacuum for sucking my money. I went in for my 60,000 mile check-up and that cost $600. That was just to look under ze German's hood. They then quoted me $1500 in repairs for new brake pads, rotors, etc. I was beginning to hate Frau. The saga has continued. Frau's indicator lights come on frequently and they blink to remind me that I have no money. To anyone who is considering a BMW, I assure you, you are an idiot. If the cost doesn't kill you, the repairs will. Oil changes will cost you $75 because the oil must be synthetic. Any repair will cost 3x the amount of any normal car. After my last round of pricey repairs/maintenance, I discovered that Frau's hood badge was missing her M and W. I have no idea how this happened. I called and priced a new one. I am not currently willing to part with another $80 on principle alone. I'm over it. Frau now looks like this:

I am the owner/operator of a hot, sassy B.

Love, love, love this picture....

of Katie.

I'm going through all of Jane's photos on her computer and am finding some oldies. I found this one below. You know how you think that you haven't changed? That you looked the same at 22 that you do now at 30? I was one of those fools. I found this photo and came to the realization that I used to be tanner, taller and younger. I think I'm shrinking and getting slightly wider. Aging is unpleasant. The bright side is that in the last 8 years I've improved my posture a bit. I mean, really? I'm clearly attempting to be about 5' 6".

Mom and Dad's Holiday Soiree

Mom and Dad hosted a party last night to thank all of their friends who helped when my childhood home flooded in June 2008. It was horrible, and the entire first floor of my parents' home had to be gutted and remodeled. Their friends rallied around them, and helped in various ways. Now that the house is all renovated, they invited these dear people over as a gesture of gratitude for their friendship. It was a hoot of an evening. I spilled tonic water all over about 1/2 of the guests, and Mom's enormous, Thundercat Fin bit one of the guests. Fun was had by all.

Welcome to my parents' party, y'all. I'm wearing tights, which required me to take a Xanax, and swish it down with this here Riesling. Come on in.

Papaw watches over the short tree.

The bar, fully stocked and new. Dad said most of his libations had floated down the levy in the flood, or floated past the lips of Katie and Rob in high school. I was not part of the imbibing scene in high school, unless you had some Zima and a jolly rancher. Then I was your new best friend.

Sweet Morgan, who was was 1/2 of the precious duo that I nannyed for several summers in college. She is in high school and I'm officially old.

Mom, Carla, Judi and Annette

Who likes to party, party? Chris and Bob like to party, party.

Mary Lou, Mrs. Rich, Mrs. Hassler and mother

Kathy and Judy, part of the Menopause Posse. They are part of mom's high school gal pals that travel together every summer. They all still think they are at Wiley high school, and that it is 1967 when they are all together.

Mom and Judi, posing with Katie and me from 1995 and 1997, respectively.

Nancy, Mom and April

Allison and I were all smiles in front of the bar.

2 Year Anniversary Trip

Sweet T and I went to Nashville on Saturday to celebrate the two years that we have been dating. We were set up by this nerd, and his wife Shelli:

Craig Perry, Sweet T's pal from high school and former travel companion.

In 2007 we met at the Opryland hotel to see the lights, and I brought my entire family:

Here is Sweet T with Meghan at the Nashville Palace. Things got rowdy, but he called the next day. So in order to commemorate that joyous evening, we headed to the Music City.

We met up with Rusty, Sweet T's best friend, and his wife Mary Fran. MF and I get along famously. She is completely sarcastic, more so than me, which I didn't think was possible. She also likes pink and cupcakes, so we are like BFF. Here she scopes out the options at Gigi's.

I forced the MF to pose with our wares. Big Rusty decided to honk as Sweet T was taking our photo from the car. I anticipated Rusty's amateur antics, thus maintaining my picture perfect grin. MF was ill prepared. The boys giggled like fools.

Here is MF posing in front of their beautiful new home. It was built in the 30's, and lacks a front pathway just like my home, so I think our houses would be friends. Oh, except that their house is way bigger and way cooler, thus making my Gingerbread home slightly jealous.

Sweet T and I shacked it up at the new Hutton Hotel, on West End. It was swanky. We loved it. Sweet T woke up and said, "Betsy, we should live in a hotel, just like Dylan on 90210. That hotel living is what made him even more cool." I had no idea he watched that show.

We posed in the lobby prior to going to the Nashville Predators hockey game.

Photographic evidence of hot dog consumption. I love them, I cannot lie, which I usually do about this. I like to say, "I don't dine on swine." That is a damn lie when I attend professional sporting events.

Look at MF's shiny, glossy hair. Mine is that shiny and glossy, but you just can't tell because its so kinky. No, really. It is totally shiny and glossy, I promise.

Here we are headed over to Robert's Western World, the happiest place on earth.

Rusty and T take hot manly shots of Peppermint Schnapp's. Then they were called wussies and beaten up by some tough cowboys. What a great night!