Clown Baby

So I dressed my precious angel the other day and then took a picture to send her father at work.

As I looked at the photos, I realized I had dressed my kid like a clown.

I mean, honestly, does it not appear to have a trick flower that would squirt water in your eye if you got too close?

I think G's clown name would be Cookie, of The Bozo Show.

I loved that show as a kid.

I would get so frustrated with those dumb kids who couldn't ever get the ball into the 6th bucket in the grand prize game.

The 6th bucket prize was a bicycle.

I wanted bucket prize number two or three, which was a cake from a local Chicago bakery.

It wasn't until years later that I realized how hard it was to get a ping pong ball to stay in a bucket when you toss it.  I believe Beer Pong taught me that.

Perhaps those kids weren't so dumb after all.

Mom came and we went to lunch with Robby.

G didn't last too long on the shopping gig, and we only went to one store.

I will close with gratuitous cute baby photos.

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!

The tree is up!

Lady G spends a lot of time gazing at those lights!

Naturally, we got her a tree for her room.

More gazing at lights=sustained attention and elevated brain functioning.

I created that equation myself.

Our Christmas card has been sent!

I love to get them out super early, thus obligating others to send me a card in return!

Ha!

I love to get Christmas cards!

I race to the mailbox each day.

Actually, I do that each day all year.

I love mail.

Genevieve met Santa.

He was a large man.

Mother said she looked like a little purple jelly bean.

Now it wouldn't be right if I didn't include some card outtakes with commentary.

Here I suggested that my husband include the 4th member of our family, Kashmir.

She refused to acknowledge the camera.

So did the little no neck wonder.  

Look, G, look at the camera.

Gosh, my hair is shiny.

And so is my face.

Heard of pressed powder?

Apparently not.

Clinique Stay-Matte powder you misled me. 

Matte must mean "glossy or slippery."

Husband, kiss the baby!

Do what I say!

I'm the boss of this operation.

Kiss her again!

The Christmas goose came early for Genevieve.

This one won't work because her precious red socks are absent.

Looking at this one, so are her faculties.

A close up of misery and gnarly Betsy nails.

Merry Christmas!

Now send me a card.

Thanksgiving and Recent Merriment

I'm so sorry for the terrible delay.

It seems I have reached my max for blogging storage and now must pay $2.49 a month to keep up this habit.

I've added a PayPal link at the bottom for all of my avid readers to contribute to the cause.

Oh, I jest!

It actually took me like 2 days to figure it out and pay the Google wallet.

I wish I had Google's wallet.

I bet it's Prada.

Back to the fun and silliness!

The other day I was cooing at my chile and I grabbed my camera.  We sit like this a lot.

As I scanned the room I saw this little fuzz head-

Oh, sweet kitty, I feel your angst.

The elephant in the room is obvious.

And that elephant be named Baby G.

Poor kitty is a tad jealous.

She has been receiving copious amounts of Whisker Lickins, but has not added one ounce to her kitty physique.

I now have a baby scale thanks to my pal Jamie.

I've added baby weighing and kitty weighing to my list of activities.

It is so fun.

Kitty=7lbs, 6 oz.

Genevieve=13 lbs, 4 oz.

Holy Crikey!

That's right, folks.

Trinity and I have one large girl on our hands, according to both the scale, the percentiles at the pediatrician's office, and the waistband of many a pair of 3 month pants.

In other news, Thanksgiving was swell.

Mom and I hosted a small soiree on Wednesday and rocked the party.

The twins arrived.

As usual, Court sat in Teri's lap.

Some things never change.

We took lots of walks around the neighborhood.

Katie brought CeCe, the 4 lb piddling wonder.

Mother made her wear a doggy diaper.

She has a bladder the size of a thimble and she empties it everywhere but outside.

We met up with my pal Kathy's kiddos and continued another walk on Thanksgiving.

Jane showed off her Dobbs Park nature center skills by picking up this deer head.

It still had teeth and hair.

The kids were impressed.

I'm impressed that Caroline is wearing that Bieber nightie out of the house.

Just pushing my stroller with my baby!

The walk continues!

I will catch up on some more soon, now that I am paying the Piper.

Behind the Crazy...

My mother came last week for the night.

Yes, she comes weekly.

We had Christmas card pictures on our busy agenda.

Mom was the photographer.

I served as stylist and lighting assistant.

I was able to snag some exclusive behind the scenes photos.

These may show up on Extra!

Step 1:

Create backdrop using a white bedspread.

Step 2:

Remove lampshades and open blinds.

Step 3:

Dress baby and place her on the set.

Step 4:

Hoist giant lady on to bed and pray she doesn't lose her balance and flatten baby.

It looked like this-

Don't be fooled.

She was barking orders like she was Annie Lebowitz.

I was running around slobbering and making cooing noises.

Just so you know, entire Lululemon outfits allow for greater flexibility in shooting baby photos.

It's not like we were actually exercising.

Thank God for stretchy fabric.

Mom's luon got a serious work out.

The model demanded a break here.

I fetched her things like Perrier water, only blue M&Ms, and changed the iPod to play The Beastie Boys, at her request.

She's such a diva.

Yes, she's wearing an elf hat.

Then it was time to change from Valentino into Gucci, or rather Carter's to Janie and Jack.

Whatevs.

I don't get out of my crib for less than 4 oz of Similac, lady.

Things were going swimmingly until I told her that the cupcakes I ordered from Magnolia Bakery that were supposed to arrive on set would not be arriving in time before her return flight to LA.

Then she went all Naomi Campbell and kicked the photographer.

There might be a lawsuit, or at least an assault charge.

It was definitely a Lindsay and Dina Lohan moment.

We had to placate her in some way.

So we did this.

It worked.

Professionalism resumed.

Amen!

Shoot complete!

2 Months Old and More Pictures of My Baby

My wee bunny was 2 months old on Friday.

We watched the IU game and she wore a fancy onesie that will fit her for approximately one more game.

Trinity claims she can go to IU or Notre Dame if she goes to college in Indiana, or UT or Vanderbilt if she heads to his home state of Tennessee.  

He has been wearing her around in this Baby Bjorn that Nicole sent us.

He refused to wear the Moby wrap, but deems the Bjorn "man enough."

Nic sent it via snail mail, and I dug out this photo to show her wearing it four years ago, with Madelyn.

Well, now this is a different one.

It seems BFF Nic is a connoisseur of Baby Bjorns.

We went to see T's parents this weekend, and of course I took zero pictures.

Brilliant.

On the way home we stopped at Frisch's Big Boy for G's orientation to the glorious establishment.

In usual Betsy fashion, I ate a salad with grilled chicken on top.

Then I inhaled my own hot fudge cake.

I later learned that was 846 calories.

Oopsy!

In the restroom I waited in line for the stall with the changing table.

I encountered this woman-

everyone knows Maxine.

I know her well because I worked at Hallmark in high school.

Did you know that every greeting card goes into a numbered pocket?

Well, they do.

So the next time your lazy tail thinks about just putting a card back in a random spot, think of me.

Don't do it.

I spent hours upon hours of my teen life putting them tediously back in the right spot, and plotting revenge on the world.

Anyway, 85 year old Maxine was in the bathroom, wearing her cataracts dark sunshades and using her cane.

She grabbed my baby's foot and screamed,

"God, she's so fat and pretty!"

Well, yes.

What a compliment.

That truly made our Big Boy trip a memorable one, since I was reminded that I have a big girl.

I took G's 2 month pictures this morning with the stuffed mouse and Fancy Nancy.

Aw, shucks, Mom!

I think I will eat this paper circle.

Mom sent pictures of sister Katie.

I think G looks like both my sister and my husband.

Kinda weird.

Aunt Katie

Aunt Katie

Mom Betsy, zero resemblance

Aunt Katie

We go to the doctor next week so I will report on percentiles then.

And it's snowing!

Awesome.

I get to spend the day inside making my hands talk!