Big Splash

On Sunday I explained to Genevieve that if she behaved during mass that I would take her to a water park on Monday.  

She seemed to agree.

She even wanted to wear her new sunglasses and the little capelet that Wellie made for her.

She then posed like a little superhero baby, ready to eradicate sin at every turn.

The wheels fell off as the priest prepared communion.  As in, literally almost fell off as she winged her Little People car off the head of the boy in the pew behind us.

Drat.

That was embarrassing.  Her father carried her out kicking and screaming.  My negotiation about the water park was a total farce, since that room was paid for and we were going, regardless of any toddler high jinx.  

On Monday morning YaYa arrived and we left for French Lick to meet Sista Katie, Cousin Caroline and Briley.  

In typical sister fashion, Katie was tardy to the party.  We killed time lounging on chaise lounges and other such fancy settees in the West Baden hotel.

We dined using our fancy lady manners.

We then met the Tennessee crew at Big Splash.  Big Splash is an indoor water park and hotel.  I am no snob.  That is a lie.

I am a snob.  I realize that I do not lead the life of Ivanka Trump, as much as I would like to. * I highly recommend following her on Instagram. Her life is amazing.

There is a happy medium between Ivanka and the Honey Boo Boos of the world.  I like to think I fall somewhere in that middle area.  

Sadly, Big Splash was way more Honey Boo Boo than Trump Towers.   

The check-in desks were decorated to look like tropical islands with waves.  Those really got me in the mood to surf.  Plus, we had to wait 30 minutes to check in and get our water park wristbands.  Awesome.

I so love a place that requires me to wear one of those paper wristbands that they insist on putting on for me that nearly cuts off my circulation and gives me a panic attack!

We busied ourselves with books.  

YaYa was thrilled to have her tiny Katie and Betsy with her.  

I do mean miniature versions of her sons-in-law-[.  

G was pleased to ride on the luggage cart.

I assure you this photo was staged.  

The people watching in the lobby did nothing to prepare us for what we beheld upon entering that hothouse of sliding and swimming.  

The people who were basking in the glory of the Big Splash don't have mirrors.

Now I'll be nice.  

Lady G climbed right into that Li'l Swimmer cesspool of pee!

This little girl was behind G the entire time.  

She pushed her on the swing.

And hurried her down the slide.  Bunny G's new water shoes slowed her down as scooted down the slide about 20 times.

The 3 of us decided to go on the lazy river.  Genevieve had to wear a life vest.  

YaYa was ever in control.  

Please note that I was the only adult in my family wearing a swimsuit.  YaYa and Katie opted to sit on the sidelines, take pictures and drink Diet Cokes. I have no photos of Katie.   

The girls had a fabulous time.  

G and I retired back to the hotel room and she was out by 7 p.m. in her pack and play.  We had a 2 bedroom "suite."  Genevieve and I were in a bedroom that had a queen bed, and the rest of the crew were in an adjoining bedroom with a king bed and pull out couch.  

I will now share my tale of "co-sleeping" or as I call it, "not sleeping."  

At 2:00 a.m. I was awakened by the sleeping boar in the other room.  Poor Jane and I share a serious sinus problem.  I didn't inherit her legs, but I did get her blowhole problems.  

I was able to get back to sleep only to be awakened at 3:45 by my crying baby.  After 2 cups of milk, she fell asleep on my chest.  I gingerly tried to put her back in her pack and play.

No dice.

She started screaming.  I then brought her back in bed with me to "co-sleep." Now please realize that I have NEVER slept with G.  She has NEVER slept in a bed. 

I figured we could make it work for one night, for like 4 hours.

NO.

We could not. 

She would snuggle in and appear to be asleep.  Just when I started to drift off her head would prairie dog up and she would say, "Mommy?"  

Yes, she no longer sounds like a redneck screaming Momma.  She can say Mommy and it is precious.  Except when you are trying to co-sleep. 

At one point she stood up and then sat down on my face.

Seriously.  

She played with my lips.  Poked at my eyes.  Sang "e-i-e-i-o" in my ear.  

She used her little Carter-footed toes to try to remove my lower intestines and/or ovaries.  

I was beyond miserable.  

At 6:00 a.m. I folded and turned on Cartoon Network.  She then started screaming YaYa repeatedly.  My mother rushed in with her early morning/late night disheveled demeanor that exudes patience and understanding.  "What's going on? Turn off that damn TV!"

She then scooted in and picked up G and started singing Let's Go Fly A Kite like Mary Poppins.

That was followed up by a jolly rendition of Baby Beluga.  

My baby was snoring and I was almost out when my mother started in with her riveting version of The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

She did not miss the crescendo.  

Good Lord.

I could not make up this stuff if I tried.  

We slept until 8:30 and woke up to snow.

These little gems got my baby to climb in the media cabinet by putting her fruit snacks in there.  

I encourage everyone to go to Big Splash to boost your self image and not to try to sleep with your baby.  

St. Patrick's Day Fun

Our little family had a wonderful St. Patrick's Day weekend.  Abby and Papi drove up on Saturday to hang with our girl.  Abby and Genevieve took a little walk around the neighborhood.

We jumped in the car and raced to the nearest Face in a Hole.

I've said it before, but those things are like a magnet and I'm like another magnet that is attracted to that magnet.

You get my point, I'm sure.

I simply cannot walk by one of those things.  

Sometimes a Face in a Hole can be quite humbling.  In this case, my face barely fit in that hole.

No Jäger was consumed during that photo.

We met our besties at the Brockway Pub.  We watched various fire departments pull engines and such.

There was a tent and green beer.  

This picture is just awesome.  I'm bossing Jamie and trying to get her in my photo.  Jamie, BFF extraordinaire, certainly puts up with a lot of my sass.

We have been such a clan for quite sometime now.  

Jodi noted that we were all wearing our gold Ray-bans, procured by the good optometrist on the left.  

On Sunday, G and I mixed up some shamrock pudding to take to my kindergarteners at school.  I made some extra for her class. 

We adorned ourselves in green on Monday morning.

G had a new bow from Abby.  

She eagerly carried her treats into school.  

This adorable picture was snapped seconds before she tripped on that bag that was as big as her and landed on the concrete.  Mother of the Year was immediately awarded!

Yes!

Sadly, we were not allowed to hand out our homemade treats.  Store bought only is the school policy.

What?

But I'm Betsy!!!!

My kitchen is pristine!

That's organic milk, you punks.

Oh, well, the rules apply to me too.

G barely noticed as I slipped away and began consuming numerous tiny cups of pudding while driving my car.

When I picked her up she was happy to show me her shamrock crown.

It was a happy day!

Cat Selfies

I took Genevieve home to stay with my parents last weekend.  Right before I went to sleep, I spied some of my senior pictures hanging in all of their glory.

I got a good chuckle admiring my love of PansyJune.  She was my prop for a series of shots.

I was so trendy and cool to pose with my cat.

I tried to recreate that coolness with a pajama/bathroom selfie with Kashmir.

I love how she looks all pensive and smart here.  

Genevieve went shopping with YaYa.

I bought the outfit she's modeling.

I'm well aware that she looks as though she has lost her sheep.

She stayed one night with YaYa and Bob so I could host my besties.  Kate and Megan visited for the evening.  They brought their menfolk, but they are not pictured.

It was our first visit since Kate's wedding in November.  We went out for tacos and margaritas, and Meg brought a key lime cake.  It was divine.  I chuckled over this picture.  It's a good thing I'm secure with my size, because my tiny friends make me look like a behemoth.  

In other family news, G decided she likes lemons.

Lastly, we Catholics are back to meatless Fridays during Lent.   

G had popcorn shrimp for our geriatric 4:30 family dinner at the Bonefish Grill.  

As talented as she is, she can color and work on her vocabulary words while popping shrimp in her mouth.  

That's a pig, G.

We can't eat that today.

Cupcake Date

Guess who is doing better during daycare morning drop off?

This cupcake.

Genevieve's transition to the toddler room has not been without its fair share of drama.  She has been crying, flinging herself on the floor and I start my day at school all teary eyed.  She started doing better at the end of last week and I was so proud.  

On Sunday we ventured out between the blasts of snow to our beloved Flying Cupcake.  

Genevieve was intrigued by all of the pretties and ignored me. 

Until I started cooing the word "cupcake."

What you have there, Momma?

Pitter pat squeaked those little rain boots as she ran towards me for a bite.

In two seconds flat she was in my lap, ready to share.

We split one and Trinity was sure to capture a photo with the essence of Betsy.

That sounds like a perfume.

Sadly, the essence of Betsy is cupcake gobbling that leaves my eyes glazed over in a sugary bliss.

G wore her Margot Tenenbaum coat.  

She had the hair clippy too, but I decided to forgo the black eyeliner and cigarettes.  

I started my week as The Cat in the Hat for Dr. Seuss day at school.

I visited each kindergarten and 1st grade classroom, and loved all of their comments.  The most common was "You're the Cat in the Hat!" I never tire of their Captain Obvious comments.  They are the cutest.