Idiot #1
Idiots #2 and 3
A couple of weeks ago I realized just how dramatic my family is. Since I grew up with my brother and sister, I knew that they could overreact. I learned that my soon to be husband fits right in with them. This is the ridiculous story of how my family decided that I was the next Natalee Holloway or Jaycee Dugard.
2 weeks ago my dear pal Jamie called me. Trinity was in the car with me, and Jamie's voice streamed through the Bluetooth. My dad bought me a new GPS system for my car, and Bluetooth is one of its features. This is great, and wonderfully safe, since I still sport a very high tech flip phone with no such capabilities. Now this Bluetooth stinks, with a terrible echo and it always sounds like I'm in a hole. It is so bad that I like to pretend that I am indeed in a hole when I talk on it, and I say things like "Hey Mister, I got your dog" like the woman in Silence of the Lambs. In retrospect, perhaps that joke got my family's minds spinning with thoughts of kidnapping. Anyway, Jamie called on a Monday, and invited me to go to see Jersey Boys with her on the Wednesday. Trinity heard this as she invited me, and the two of us discussed me going after we hung up. My point? HE KNEW I WAS GOING TO SEE JERSEY BOYS ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
Wednesday morning rolls around. T gets up and goes to work while I was sleeping, so I didn't get a chance to remind him of my plans. I tried to call him a couple of times that day to remind him, but I never reached him. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT A MESSAGE. That morning, around 11 a.m. I spoke to my sister and shared with her my exciting plans. "Jamie is taking me to see Jersey Boys for my birthday tonight. Isn't that fun? I can't wait!" Katie interacts as though she is listening. She was not.
I had to leave before T got home, and on the way to dinner I discussed my plans with my mother. She too knew I was going to the play. As I headed into the performance at 7:20, I sent T a reminder text message, then silenced my phone. I then proceeded to enjoy the fantastical show, along with my BFF's company.
At 10:30 I exited the theatre, got in my car and turned on my phone. 10 text messages from my brother, sister, and almost husband. Frantic voices mails from all 3 of them, screaming, "Where are you? Oh my God!!!!" One message from my friend Allison, expressing concern for my whereabouts. What the hell? I had told these fools where I was going.
I called Trinity. He answered the phone, frantic. He had no recollection of my plans from Monday, and the text message had failed. He had called my sister, area hospitals, and my local neighborhood police, which apparently had a recording, and not a person who answered. Barney Fife was out patrolling, and clearly unavailable for consultation. Did I mention he called my sister? The one who knew where I was? The one who doesn't listen? Did she tell him where I was? No, she got on the phone to the Indiana State Police!!!! Thank God you can't report someone missing (an adult, which I suppose I am) until they are missing for 24 hours.
Trinity told Katie that I had gone to yoga at 5:45 (my normal routine) and had never returned and was not answering my phone. Katie called my brother Rob, who then began patrolling the area surrounding my yoga studio, expecting to find a smashed window and traces of me. He also went to Allison and Steve's home in search of clues, thus getting them all worked up and in on "the search".
At this point, let me say a couple of things. I've watched Oprah, and know all of the tips for avoiding snatchings. DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TAKEN TO A 2ND LOCATION. No need to worry about me. Also, Joran Van der Sloot does not troll midwestern cities, but sticks to South and Central America. Oh, and he's in custody. Lastly, I told everyone where I was. I called everyone, got everyone calmed down, and we later laughed about it. From this experience I learned two things, everyone loves me, and no one listens to me.
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