Behind the Crazy...

My mother came last week for the night.

Yes, she comes weekly.

We had Christmas card pictures on our busy agenda.

Mom was the photographer.

I served as stylist and lighting assistant.

I was able to snag some exclusive behind the scenes photos.

These may show up on Extra!

Step 1:

Create backdrop using a white bedspread.

Step 2:

Remove lampshades and open blinds.

Step 3:

Dress baby and place her on the set.

Step 4:

Hoist giant lady on to bed and pray she doesn't lose her balance and flatten baby.

It looked like this-

Don't be fooled.

She was barking orders like she was Annie Lebowitz.

I was running around slobbering and making cooing noises.

Just so you know, entire Lululemon outfits allow for greater flexibility in shooting baby photos.

It's not like we were actually exercising.

Thank God for stretchy fabric.

Mom's luon got a serious work out.

The model demanded a break here.

I fetched her things like Perrier water, only blue M&Ms, and changed the iPod to play The Beastie Boys, at her request.

She's such a diva.

Yes, she's wearing an elf hat.

Then it was time to change from Valentino into Gucci, or rather Carter's to Janie and Jack.

Whatevs.

I don't get out of my crib for less than 4 oz of Similac, lady.

Things were going swimmingly until I told her that the cupcakes I ordered from Magnolia Bakery that were supposed to arrive on set would not be arriving in time before her return flight to LA.

Then she went all Naomi Campbell and kicked the photographer.

There might be a lawsuit, or at least an assault charge.

It was definitely a Lindsay and Dina Lohan moment.

We had to placate her in some way.

So we did this.

It worked.

Professionalism resumed.

Amen!

Shoot complete!