Our State Fair is a Great State Fair!

Oh, my lands, people.

I reckon I have a problem.

I'm using Little House on the Prairie lingo because we went to the state fair, and I guess farmers talk like that.

They also wear gingham shirts and some seriously bedazzled jeans.

I'm talking about the teenagers who showed their animals in the 4H competitions.

I wasn't aware that one could purchase jeans with that many rhinestones on the pockets and waistband.  I'm thinking  a glue gun and a trip to Hobby Lobby was required.

Anyway, that's not the problem.

The problem is that my soon to be two year old won't ride in a stroller.

We have a possible trip to DisneyLand in our near future, and if she can't sit her rear in the Britax for a twirl around our state fairgrounds then I think we are in trouble.

But the day started out just in the most merry of ways.

The biggest boar was fine.  

The goats were fine.  

We practiced our animal sounds as we sashayed around the sheep, cow, goat and pig barns.  

Notice I'm holding her or am touching my toddler in some way in all of these pictures.

Well, you know what?

Mama Long Arms got tired.

I mean real tired.

Back to farmer speak.  

I became so tired after trekking through hay and animal byproducts while balancing a 31+ lb child on my hip that I had the audacity to put her down.

Well, my friends, things went poorly.

The hallelujah dance commenced.

This is where she raises her arms in the air, stomps her feet, and  starts speaking in tongues.

It may also be known as a tantrum.  

We then tried to put her in the stroller.

Alas, a great impersonation of Linda Blair in The Exorcist was witnessed by all fellow fairgoers.  

I really don't know how she can arch her back that far while keeping the back of her head and her feet in the stroller. 

My husband is a big fan of ignoring inappropriate behaviors, while I cluck and wring my hands like the world is ending.  

We proceeded to stroll the state fairgrounds while our child flung herself forward as if she would break free from her chains, God willing.

She screamed her face off, 

red faced and drooling as we passed fellow toddlers strolling and clapping.

Didn't  she know this was supposed to be fun?

I might as well have been flogging her with the state's largest corn dog or breaded tenderloin.

She finally wore herself out after about 30 minutes of screaming.

Here is the aftermath.

She sucked down a vanilla milkshake, because I like to reward atrocious behavior.  

I was so frazzled that I was unable to purchase and enjoy my annual elephant ear.

If she ruins my trip to DisneyLand, I may leave her in the park.

We are going to start practicing by torturing her nightly with strapped in strolls around the hood.

Our neighbors are going to love us!