Today I was in a foul ball mood. I hate it when I do stupid things. I love this shirt. I wore it for our engagement pictures last spring. I read the care instructions, but clearly my comprehension and reasoning skills are lacking. I decided to save like $5 this afternoon and ignore the care directions. It said DRY CLEAN ONLY, which to me meant, WASH THIS IN YOUR SINK USING VICTORIA'S SECRET DELICATE LINGERIE WASH. I'm a moron. The black bled into the white and it has like water stains on it. I almost cried. I cursed to the high heavens. T tried to calm me.
Things got worse. Check out these pictures. Those are my bushes, people. I'm pretty sure they're close to dead, or are barely on life support. Judy, my Master Gardener neighbor, advised that we cut them down to like 4 inches in circumference and then see what happens.
They make me want to vomit. I hate yard work. I am probably going to spend oodles of money replacing my blouse and possibly hiring a landscape company to make my yard look more alive and less like plants from a Tim Burton movie. Lessons learned today:
* pay $5 to dry clean a blouse
* pay a higher water bill to water my shrubs when Indiana has a summer drought
T tried to perk me up since I was moping around the house claiming that I hated my clothes and my home. I tend to be a tad dramatic. I was prepared to go all Joan Crawford on those bushes when he intervened. He took me to BW3s, where I enjoyed a very large Woodchuck Cider.
Then he took me to our neighborhood Dairy Queen for a kiddie cone. It is right next to a Putt Putt course, with a kind of identical configuration as the Putt Putt/DQ compound in TH. I was immediately transported back to 1995, when I was a Dairy Queen myself. I perfected the art of the curly cue on the top of the cone. It is all in the wrist action.
When we got home he pulled up my latest favorite Youtube video. I've been working with my 1st grade students and teachers on animal research writing. I found this video while working on those plans. This is so inappropriate and has foul language. I also think it is so hilarious. My favorite line, "Thanks for the mouse, stupid!" My funk is over!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment