iPhone!!!!!

I am so excited today. My father, also known as iBob, called me this morning and told me I could go pick up my new white iPhone as my 32nd birthday gift. My entire family has had iPhones for like 4 years now, but I have resisted. They were too expensive and I didn't want to pay more for my data plan. I was perfectly content to text message folks by pushing the number 1 key 3 times to make it a letter C. I was fine with it.

Do you know who hasn't been fine with my Zack Morris cell phone? Everyone else. Mostly my family (my dad) and even some pals giggle upon seeing my lack of smart phone capabilities. I loved my dumb phone, but the peer pressure was starting to make me crack. Did I want to spend like $300 on that phone? No, that money was earmarked for more medallion shoes. I was forced to improvise.

I am way smarter than Steve Jobs. He was dumb enough to put an ad for a true to size white iPhone on the back of a People magazine. Now any elementary school teacher has scissors and scotch tape.

Voila!

To the untrained Apple eye, I now have an iPhone.

but a closer look reveals its true identity as a jank Verizon free phone with plan.

The gig is completely up when I must answer the phone.

I no longer have to fool others. I will have the real thing very shortly!